Well, I haven't blogged in a while, I had even written down little notes to blog about. But, like it has done so many times, life has thrown me a curve.
I was going to post about sex offenders being released back into society. The Royal Wedding - with Victoria Beckham in black (although loved her maternity dress) and the fact her husband, David, had worn his medal on the wrong side (for shame, David). Was going to vent (or stand on my portable soap box as Robert calls my rants) about Emperor Stephen (Harper) and all the stupid things he is doing. Not to mention the idiot politicians in the United States.
But, those seem so very trivial at the moment. Now, besides worry about Laura, Queen of the Universe http://lauraqofu.blogspot.com/ and her midget, my granddaughter,;my eldest, Jenni and her spawn, the family, etc., I get to try and keep myself grounded and wrap my head around the fact that I may lose my beloved husband, Robert.
You see, after a routine physical, then some more test, then more tests, the doctor has scheduled a CT Scan of the abdomen/pelvic area for Robert because they are pretty sure he may have Pancreatic Cancer. The CT scan is just to confirm and see how this dis-ease has progressed. CANCER. A word I have feared and dealt with all my life. I have lost people I love to this. I have been scared shitless numerous times because I have had skin cancer several times. I fear my kids might develop this terrible thing. And now, here I am, sitting at the computer at 1:30 am - yes, in the morning, looking out my balcony door, looking at Sister Moon shining down at me, trying to make sense of it all. And I can't.
I can't make sense why things that are bad have happened to my family. And now, the one person I have wanted to spend my life with, to not be without, may be lost to me some day - a whole lot sooner than I ever wanted. A whole lot sooner than I thought or planned on. And it won't be sudden. It will be painful for him, physically and emotionally - he is more worried about me than himself.
So, I will be blogging more often, as days go on. About what is happening with me, Robert and that awful word, Cancer. His CT Scan is May 26 - but, I am sure I will have lots of words written down here on my blog, Lou's Log. Lots of words.
And in case you haven't noticed, I love Robert with every ounce of my being, my mind, my heart and my soul. And he loves me, which dear ones, is no great feat. I have grown as a person, a woman, because of that wonderful love of his.....I only hope I have done the same for him.
So, for now, I am going to curl up next to my love, try to get some sleep, perhaps to dream and relive the wonderful full years we have shared.
Showing posts with label loving husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loving husband. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Friday, September 24, 2010
Autumnal Equinox- Second Harvest
Second Harvest, the Autumnal Equinox, Witches' Thanksgiving, Harvest Home, Mabon, Equal Day, Demeter and Persephone, Harvest Moon. All of these things represent this time of year. The start of one of my favorite times of the Wheel.
This is the start of the time that Persephone must begin her journey to the Underworld, to be the Queen of the Underworld, along side her husband Hades. This is the time the land and crops start to diminish, laid low by the sadness that her mother, Demeter goes thru, as she only has her daughter in her life for half of the year. I sympathize with Demeter.
This is the time of the Wheel to harvest crops, and the love of your family and friends. And the family you have chosen, your brothers and sisters you call family, those who you share the Seasons of the Wheel with. This is the time as a dear Sister said, to look both forward and back at the same time, to draw in our breath, to decide what to leave behind and what to hold dear to us and move forward into the future.
This is also the time of my counting the years of my marriage to a wonderful man who loves me, accepts me as I am, honours me and who I love with all of my being, unconditionally. Thank you for the years we already have and for the years to come. I love you. It also is the time of the Wheel that turns for our youngest granddaughter, who grows more lovely, intelligent and funny each turn of her Wheel. Happy Birthday, Boogie Woogie.
This is the time of the Season that leads up to my favorite time; the beginning of the Witches' New Year, when the trees have donned their beautiful colours of orange, red, browns and greens, before they shed them for the nakedness of the winter. The time when they dance their last dance before withdrawing within to rest. The time when the dryads sing their whispering songs accompanied by the Wind.
To my relations and family and friends, I wish you Autumn Blessings and much love.
And to my majickal family, I love you and to those who are away in miles but not in my thoughts, I miss you and I wish you all a wonderous Happy Thanksgiving and Blessings for the Second Harvest.
This is the start of the time that Persephone must begin her journey to the Underworld, to be the Queen of the Underworld, along side her husband Hades. This is the time the land and crops start to diminish, laid low by the sadness that her mother, Demeter goes thru, as she only has her daughter in her life for half of the year. I sympathize with Demeter.
This is the time of the Wheel to harvest crops, and the love of your family and friends. And the family you have chosen, your brothers and sisters you call family, those who you share the Seasons of the Wheel with. This is the time as a dear Sister said, to look both forward and back at the same time, to draw in our breath, to decide what to leave behind and what to hold dear to us and move forward into the future.
This is also the time of my counting the years of my marriage to a wonderful man who loves me, accepts me as I am, honours me and who I love with all of my being, unconditionally. Thank you for the years we already have and for the years to come. I love you. It also is the time of the Wheel that turns for our youngest granddaughter, who grows more lovely, intelligent and funny each turn of her Wheel. Happy Birthday, Boogie Woogie.
This is the time of the Season that leads up to my favorite time; the beginning of the Witches' New Year, when the trees have donned their beautiful colours of orange, red, browns and greens, before they shed them for the nakedness of the winter. The time when they dance their last dance before withdrawing within to rest. The time when the dryads sing their whispering songs accompanied by the Wind.
To my relations and family and friends, I wish you Autumn Blessings and much love.
And to my majickal family, I love you and to those who are away in miles but not in my thoughts, I miss you and I wish you all a wonderous Happy Thanksgiving and Blessings for the Second Harvest.
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